The Apprentice: A review

Warning: This article contains spoilers, read at your own peril.

The Apprentice returned to our screens this week for its 10th series. An advertisement for the benefits of capitalism The Apprentice is not, however, I see its role as more of a reminder of everything that’s right with the world. Whilst the contestants engage in public arguments, come up with ridiculous ‘edgy’ ideas and nonsensical business-speak, Lord Sugar’s aides Karren Brady and Nick Hewer look on with thinly-veiled disgust and amazement. Alan Sugar meanwhile, who seems like someone who gives little truck to hipster-types, was at his contemptuous, no nonsense best, condemning Robert for his ‘arty-farty, Shoreditch bullshit’. In these first few weeks the producers invite the viewers to laugh at these so called ‘entrepreneurs’ with the use of a gentle, almost comedic soundtrack and an emphasis on the many prolonged awkward silences.

Whilst the format has stayed broadly the same for a decade the show still manages to feel fresh every year. A welcome change this year is the addition of four extra contestants, with the show still covering the usual 12 weeks this gives scope for multiple firings at any point, as was dramatically demonstrated after the second task. There was plenty of motivation for Lord Sugar to wield the finger of doom as the contestants reacher ever higher levels of incompetence, the girls really only winning both tasks because the boys were just so terrible. As ever the show has thrown up characters who we love to hate, but who secretly we want to stay in as long as possible.

The stand-out contestants in the first couple of shows include:

Robert- a 6″7′ clothes horse obsessed with hotdogs and Shoreditch but with a strong dislike of socks. Despite creating a business plan to sell ‘luxury high-quality fashion’ he refused to project-manage a task that had everything to do with fashion. He became the first contestant to be fired without being taken back into the boardroom. Should have been fired sooner for crimes against fashion.  Suggested career: Artisan hot-dog vendor

Sarah- Single-handedly set feminism back twenty years when she informed her team that they would win the selling task by ‘wearing short skirts and lots of make-up’ much to her team-mates disgust. Project managed the girl’s team, though she never mentioned it… Sales are obviously not her strong point, since she tried to sell what amounted to a bucket of plastic cleaning supplies to London Zoo for £250. Her ineptitude as PM was masked by the boys’ team ever greater ineptitude. Suggested career: Feminism activist

Stephen- Brings the sass to the boardroom this series, and came up with some memorable quotes in the first episode before being unceremoniusly silenced by Lord Sugar- ‘it’s not a potato it’s an experience’. Despite being anonymous in the second task he looks set to be the contestant that everyone loves to hate and his bust ups with his fellow budding businesspeople promise to be endlessly fun. Suggested career: Arctic penguin social worker

Honourable mentions: Daniel- seemed to rather miss the point of selling to business and admitted that he would not wear his own product out in public.

Felipe- Felipe’s strategy is to just be Felipe…